Swears Do Compute

So remember the calculator classic 5318008?

It spells “boobies” when you type it into a calculator and hold it (gently…) upside down! Sweet Gravy it’s amazing how the things that give us so much joy are often free! There’s a variety of naughty-fun words you can “spell” with your calculator…though none make you as cool to your peers, co-workers and fellow students as 5318008. Hooray for Boobies!!

However that’s old school…it’s 2018 and there’s a new way to embarrass the technology we have and use it for malicious supervillain joy.

Introducing Google Home!! When you request a song “Hey Google play Rolling Stones’ Sympathy for the Devil!” the Google-Lady Voice will respond with “Sure. Now playing Rolling Stones’ Sympathy for the Devil.”

Because she repeats your commands like a baby-faced 2 year old learning English…you can make her say anything. Including but especially…swears!

Here’s a handy list of song titles with swears you can make the nice-A.I. Google lady say. The challenge is the songs hafta be in Google Play so that limits the selection.

Songs so far…
P.I.M.P. by 50 Cent
Rich As Fuck by Lil Wayne
What’s New Pussycat? by Tom Jones
Bitch Better Have My Money by Rihanna
Work Bitch by Britney Spears
My Humps by The Black Eyed Peas
Shake Ya Ass by Mystikal
Cum On Feel the Noize by Quiet Riot
Say My Name by Destiny’s Child

My friend Lori added Prodigy’s Smack My Bitch Up a certifiable swear classic while Tory suggested Fuck The Police A classic hip hop jam! I should probably throw in 2 Live Crew’s Me So Horny!!

What other swears songs can we make the nice-A.I. Google lady say? Oh and I know…Skynet is coming for all of us: don’t act like you’re innocent.


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Also published on Medium.

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