Give Up The Ghosting

Last night armed with a large lasagne brick I watched I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye the apology documentary to the Christian bestseller I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Shortly after noon today I had a My Summer Lair phone interview with the documentary subject and author of the vexing book: Joshua Harris.

(I had 3 or 4 pages of questions which got trimmed down before the interview…it was a headtrip to go back in time…I’d totally forgotten all this culture. And by culture…wow! Did you see all those Christian tv shows sets like living rooms?! This church culture is so tacky…nothing ages well. That was late 90s and the shows looked like late 70s; early 80s.)

Interlude but still all connected: There’s a new Dr. Ruth documentary from Hulu (so wanna see it!) and I wonder if she expresses similar regrets or feels like she messed up in some aspects. About what I dunno. S’out May 10.

Anyways in the interview I said to him you’re fortunate/blessed because you put the book out and you got a report card; you got feedback (and granted some of that was/is harsh. Long live social media?!).

One of the major problems currently with “modern dating” is ghosting…people don’t want to have ugly awful messy conversations. So you think the date went well but she doesn’t text or he doesn’t call you back…so you never know what you did “wrong.” (Ghosting as a term doesn’t even make sense…remember ghosts who came back to reveal how they were murdered? Ghosts had purpose!)

No feedback means you don’t know how to improve: there’s nothing loving about ghosting…it’s selfish, cowardly and extremely narcissist (the hallmarks of the social media era). And if you can’t have a simple conversation…I had a good time but next time don’t talk about yourself so much…than why do you think you’ll be good at relationships which are always messy?! It’s like being a red light actor…you can’t “turn it on” when you’re in a relationship; this is a habit and a practise. (If you constantly forgive the small things like the jerk who cuts you off…it makes it much easier to forgive the bigger bad things.)

Of course the flip side of that is that people say they want criticism but when they get it…don’t like it or enjoy the process. But sadly…fun doesn’t make us “grow.” Heartaches and despair and sadness and setbacks…that is how we’ve always grown.

Joshua Harris interview will be up soon…gotta go get some lunch then finish editing the interview I did with David Peisner who wrote a biography on In Living Color. That’s going up today. So cool!!

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Give Up The Ghosting

Last night armed with a large lasagne brick I watched I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye the apology documentary to the Christian bestseller I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Shortly after noon today I had a My Summer Lair phone interview with the documentary subject and author of the vexing book: Joshua Harris.

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Dating Is Dated

So…tonight I sat down with a large lasagne brick and watched I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye the apology documentary to the Christian bestseller I Kissed Dating Goodbye. I’ve got an upcoming My Summer Lair interview with the documentary subject and author of the vexing book: Joshua Harris.

The trailer so we all know what we’re talking about…

This documentary messed me up (red wine and sheesha are spot on…I wasn’t prepared for all this. I went into this doc with lasagne!). Because I outgrew it but I forgot how complicated it was to just talk to a girl and ask her out for tea. Remember that? I’m not interested in you; I have no desire to marry you…I’m not sexually attracted to you: I have tea with my guy friends; I’d like to have tea with you. Not TEA just tea. It’s really nice when you can just hang out with a girl and that’s it.

(Married girls were the best…we all had clear boundaries: I have no desire to touch your boobies!)

The thing too…is I’m not fully committed but I’m pretty open minded to this no hell thing…it really doesn’t make sense in terms of grace (Love Wins!). And if grace is bigger and better than what we think it is…God doesn’t care if I listen to rock n roll or rap music. (Especially if He heard the new Weeknd song Lost in the Fire…that beat is sick. I’ll chance it!)

Porn…for sure that’s devastating and has serious consequences. And I accept that there’s an emotional component to sex and dating and love…there’s a damage that can be done there because it’s damaged people trying to be loved. But I also believe everybody is different…that you can’t write one universal rule for everybody that’s where it breaks down for me.

When we’re on the 401 or any highway the speed limit sign says 90 km/h but we also know there is a slow lane and a fast lane…so some drivers are going 120km, others at 60km and some are hopelessly lost. That makes me more sense to me than ten thousand teenagers taking a purity pledge.

But ah…can you sweep the entire purity movement however well-intentioned into the B.S. pile? Because again if we go back to grace it really doesn’t make sense. It all reminds me of the fear of weed…how it was gonna destroy a generation and we’d all be dropping outta school; defeated and destitute…man adults: your fears are not functional; they’re foolish.

The only thing I am certain off is that new Weeknd song has a sick beat. Maybe that’s enough for today…

Dating Is Dated

So…tonight I sat down with a large lasagne brick and watched I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye the apology documentary to the Christian bestseller I Kissed Dating Goodbye. I’ve got an upcoming My Summer Lair interview with the documentary subject and author of the vexing book: Joshua Harris.

Read the rest of this page »

Trial by Trailer: Including…Long Shot

Is this good?
Will this be good?
Every movie trailer answers or challenges those 2 questions. The ham-fisted rebuttal comes swiftly, however: no you don’t need to always see a movie to know it’s tank.

Do you really need to sit through a Michael Bay Transformers movie to know for sure? Tank is Tank. And Fresh…well Fresh is always Fresh. I’m down like I’m Brown for that.

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Trial By Trailer: Including….Tolkien

Is this good?
Will this be good?
Every movie trailer answers or challenges those 2 questions. The ham-fisted rebuttal comes swiftly, however: no you don’t need to always see a movie to know it’s tank.

Do you really need to sit through a Michael Bay Transformers movie to know for sure? Tank is Tank. And Fresh…well Fresh is always Fresh. I’m down like I’m Brown for that.

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Netflix and Chill with…Behind the Curve

Netflix and Chill with…Behind the Curve a fascinating documentary about flat eathers!

In Germany Professor Roland Imhoff (of Johannes Gutenberg University) wanted to understand what makes some people choose their beliefs. In particular, dude studied outliers like conspiracy theorists. The facts aren’t at issue here; obviously they can’t be.

His research found that conspiracy theorists are taking comfort in their standing as outliers: they’re searching for a feeling not a logical truth. Oh.

That makes so much sense…you’ll see that reflected in this doc and the humane way director Daniel J Clark frames the flat earthers.

Imhoff writes, “Adherence to conspiracy theory might not always be the result of some perceived lack of control, but rather a deep-seated need for uniqueness.” My independence is more valuable than your acceptance. 100%!!

That’s true in life and business…it’s not limited to flat earthers.

Check it out this weekend.

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Cherish The Gibberish

Under an ash grey sky I’m walking on Young Street when I stop at the curb waiting for the light to change.

Beside me a homeless man wearing Polar Vortex chic…rocking a sleeping bag like a poncho mutters gibberish. 

I listen closely (I always listen closely because when we want to be dismissive we label people crazy and that corrosive label offers some outstanding hidden gems.)

Sure enough he stops muttering then yells at the top of his lungs to no one: “WHAT IF THERE WAS A BLACK SUPERMAN?”

Then goes back to his regularly scheduled gibberish program…only he adjusts his sleeping bag-dress like an unruly girdle and wanders onto the street into oncoming traffic, annoying drivers who loudly honk in protest as he diagonally shuffles to the other side. It’s unclear where’s he’s going only that he’s determined to get there.

I’m still waiting for the light to change…but: man if ever there was a metaphor for social media.

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Cherish The Gibberish

Under an ash grey sky I’m walking on Young Street when I stop at the curb waiting for the light to change.

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#SetTheVCR for Sunday, February 10 to Saturday, February 16

Hope you like comic book tv shows…Walking Dead returns and it is joined by Doom Patrol and Umbrella Academy. Gonna be a busy year for comics books and tv.

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