Workplace Nipples

In the workplace one elephant in the room is nipples.

Nothing’s more disruptive to workflow then the sudden appearance of nipples. Dudes get distracted, dames seem embarrassed.

Their sudden (and rare) appearance prompts a bizarre jr high awkward-ish reaction, you’re desperately trying to keep your cool but really you got more tells than a Vegas escort.

The worst is the dude who totally believes he’s intercepted Nazi telegrams and has the smarts to crack the codes and win the war…he starts playing to em like it’s a stand up comedy audience, the way you pet a dog in that one special spot to earn a tail wag. Of course he’s also the aging stereotype who gets drunk at the Christmas party and is convinced ancient headlight jokes passes for wit.

Guess I don’t really have a point to any of this save, it’s not right to exclusively blame the internet for workflow disruption, when there’s so many other factors.


Also published on Medium.

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