Trial by Trailer: Including…Inside Bill’s Brain

Is this good?
Will this be good?
Every movie trailer answers or challenges those 2 questions. The ham-fisted rebuttal comes swiftly however: no you don’t need to always see a movie to know it’s tank.

Do you really need to sit through a Michael Bay Transformers movie to know for sure? Tank is Tank. And Fresh…well Fresh is always Fresh. I’m down like I’m Brown for that.

For the week of August 25-31 2019 I cover:
Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker
Titans: Season 2
Inside Bill’s Brain: Decoding Bill Gates
Bill Burr: Paper Tiger
The I-Land: Season 1
Terminator: Dark Fate
A Student’s Guide to Your First Year of College

Shall we begin?

Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker (August 26)
Luke Skywalker was always the weakest Star Wars link: a perpetual John Hughes loser. Rey who began as a tepid cup of tea follows that tradition: The Rise Of Skywalker may not be enough to make her cool. Neither will a Canadian girlfriend.

Sammy Verdict: I’m so out! The Force is not strong with this one…

Titans: Season 2 (August 27)
Disney+ is wasting my time with PG-13 tv shows. Meanwhile DC Universe brings the hard R ruckus with Titans!

Season 1 was uneven but better than the CW shows so I’ll be back for Season 2 of Titans!

Sammy Verdict: This is (wait for it…) Titan-alizing (that wasn’t worth the wait…)

Joker (August 28)
The final Joker trailer clearly declares it’s a Taxi Driver remake! “Are you talking to me?!” is replaced with “Is this a joke?!” Indeed.

Sammy Verdict: October 4, 2019: Why So Serious…

Inside Bill’s Brain: Decoding Bill Gates (August 29)
Inside Bill’s Brain: Decoding Bill Gates Netflix’s latest documentary arrives September 20 and it’s from Davis Guggenheim (YES! Dude is fresh! You can skip An Inconvenient Truth but do check out It Might Get Loud and Waiting for “Superman” both are most excellent documentaries!).

As time unfolds it’s crystal clear: Bill Gates > Steve Jobs

Sammy Verdict: I like big brains I cannot lie…I’m In!

Bill Burr: Paper Tiger (August 29)
Netflix’s latest “problematic” “tone-deaf” etc. all the Chappelle nonsense smoothly shifts to comic Bill Burr on September 10: “A nation turns its lonely eyes to you.”

Sammy Verdict: Uncomfortable but fresh. So IN!

The I-Land: Season 1 (August 29)
The I-Land is…like Matrix meets Lord of the Flies. With some low rent Lost rip-offness. Didn’t Michael Bay make an Island movie? This Netflix miniseries drops September 12.

Sammy Verdict: Eh…I’ll watch the first episode.

Terminator: Dark Fate (August 29)
OK fine: Terminator: Dark Fate looks amazing. I said looks. We’ve been down this road; everything since T2 is tank and wank. Just because James Cameron is back doesn’t mean this’ll be good.

Sammy Verdict: November 1, 2019 is officially the new Judgment Day!

Untouchable (August 30)
With every movement comes the documentaries. As much as we’re for socialism we’re also at heart: capitalists. Hulu’s Harvey Weinstein Untouchable airs September 2nd.

Sammy Verdict: I’m…out. Didn’t watch the R. Kelly doc either and I suffered through HBO’s Michael Jackson doc debacle.

A Student’s Guide to Your First Year of College (August 30)
A Student’s Guide to Your First Year of College comes to YouTube on September 4. 10 episodes hosted and co-created by Michelle Obama. (I’m so grateful I am not in school! Learning is amazing; education sucks!)

Sammy Verdict: Hard Pass.


Listen to My Summer Lair @ W • T • F

Also published on Medium.

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