On Being The Food Boyfriend

So in the office is a lovely brunette. And until recently her food boyfriend was a guy on the third floor.

Whenever she couldn’t finish her lunch she’d booty call him to yam the rest. While I sat on sidelines, unfulfilled and unrecognized. Until this week.

You see…he took her for granted. He always thought it’d be this way and he stopped asking about her day…he stopped caring. Which you never ever do if you really care about a woman. I may not know a lot but I know that.

She broke up with him and now…I’ve become the food boyfriend! So far I’ve scored tacos, pizza and today poutine. It’s still early but I feel like this could go the distance….at the risk of sounding like I’m out to lunch!


Also published on Medium.

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