A Cheater’s Declaration

With alarming frequency I can’t buy anything without being asked about that store’s loyalty program/card thingie or being offered some random way to collect points to redeem for more crap. Look…I’ma say this once to every single store: I cheat on all of you. Regularly and out in the open.

I don’t commit. I don’t want to commit. I want an open relationship and even then I’m not interesting in hearing about your day so don’t ask about mine. We both want something, let’s just use each other.

I know what I’m looking for, what I want…so don’t offer to help me, I’ll find it eventually even if it looks I’m fumbling in the dark. Haven’t you ever noticed on your website in the search box I never look for you? Soon as I’m done I’m gone, don’t expect me to linger.

We didn’t make a memory we arranged a transaction, don’t get sentimental about it. I don’t think about you, I don’t miss you and I don’t reminisce about the way you smell.

So stop emailing me, it makes you look desperate. Especially because I know I’m not your only one: you take false and shallow comfort in the love of others. I’m not special and that’s ok because neither are you. And if and when I need you again and you’re not there, that’s alright…I will go to somebody else. You’re not the only game in town.

We clear?


Thanks for reading!

Also published on Medium.

Speak Your Mind

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Posts, blog and musings.
Events, gigs and appearances.


"Red Letter Nights"
by Sammy Younan is available!


Click here for to enjoy a yummy sample...