1) Wait for the street crossing countdown to reach 3 then I dart across the road trying to get to the safe curb before it reaches 0.

2) Ask the bus driver not to stop but rather slow down and open the doors so I can gracefully gazelle leap outta of a moving vehicle.

3) Wait for the last possible second then I ninja-slip through almost closed elevator doors. Buttons are for cowards!

4) Purposefully step on the booby trap stone to ensure the entire temple crumbles down around me…even if I haven’t reached the cavern with the treasure. So long history!

5) Hang out with like-minded super villains in their lairs and practice knots (superheros and damsels always manage to escape because henchmen never tie knots properly).

-28-

Also published on Medium.