Is this good?
Will this be good?
Every movie trailer answers or challenges those 2 questions. The ham-fisted rebuttal comes swiftly, however: no you don’t need to always see a movie to know it’s tank.

Do you really need to sit through a Michael Bay Transformers movie to know for sure? Tank is Tank. And Fresh…well Fresh is always Fresh. I’m down like I’m Brown for that.

For the week of July 21-27, 2019 I cover:
A Beautiful Day
The Witcher
Jay and Silent Bob Reboot
Ad Astra
Hustlers
The Good Liar
After The Wedding
Playing With Fire
Gemini Man
Zombieland: Double Tap
Fallen Queen

Shall we begin?

A Beautiful Day (July 22)
The Mister Rogers movie A Beautiful Day with Tom Hanks is…pretty much a Mister Rogers movie with Tom Hanks. No Surprises. No Expectations.

Sammy Verdict: Might get around to it on Netflix.

The Witcher (July 22)
The Witcher…on ye olde Netflix.I dropped Van Helsing halfway through Season 1, Game of Thrones halfway through the first episode. I dunno about this.

Sammy Verdict: I don’t think this is made for me…guess I’m the monster Superman hunts?

Jay and Silent Bob Reboot (July 23)
It’s 2019 Dogma dictates you’re either gonna see a Kevin Smith movie or you ain’t. As such Jay and Silent Bob Reboot…it’s exactly what you expect from Kevin Smith.

Sammy Verdict: I’m 100% Out.

Ad Astra (July 23)
Ad Astra inches closer to Brad Pitt’s Tree of Life so I’m 100% IN! That Bullitt chase scene on the moon alone warrants opening weekend dollars.

Sammy Verdict: #TeamRuckus Reporting for duty!!

Hustlers (July 24)
Hustlers stars Jenny from the Block so I’m automatically out. Chick’s all witness the fitness but that don’t make her good. I’ve had “Enough.” Worse…this is like Set It Off meets Oceans 8.

Sammy Verdict: I’m 100% Out.

The Good Liar (July 24)
The Good Liar should be better than Big Fat Liar though oddly enough both movies are similar in premise. Thankfully the murdering saved the trailer: thought this was gonna be another It’s Complicated old people having sex movie.

Sammy Verdict: I’m In…and that’s no lie.

After The Wedding (July 24)
Ah…turns out After The Wedding is not another benevolent white person helping poor kids movie rather it’s a benevolent rich white people got dirty secrets movie. Never saw the original.

Sammy Verdict: Eh…I’ll Netflix this; give it 20 minutes.

Playing With Fire (July 24)
Remember Vin Diesel’s Tooth Fairy? Arnold’s Jingle All the Way? The Spy Next Door with Jackie Chan? I despise this genre…these movies are utter crap. Well now John Cena’s got one: Playing With Fire.

Sammy Verdict: I will never see this. Ever. Pass Gas.

Gemini Man (July 25)
What was the last good Will Smith movie?! Because Gemini Man ain’t it.

Sammy Verdict: Though the second it’s on Netflix…the very second I’ll watch this.

Zombieland: Double Tap (July 25)
Oh yes, yes y’all! Zombieland: Double Tap returns with wonderful Americana ruckus up to and including injecting Nut Up and Shut Up into our nomenclature. That’s Word.

Sammy Verdict: October 18 I’m totally 100% IN.

Fallen Queen (July 26)
You hafta watch this Fallen Queen trailer…it’s sooooo bad. But like that’s it…s’not so bad it becomes good it’s just flat out awful. This’ll be on their IMDB forever. Started from the bottom and now…?

Sammy Verdict: I dunno who this for…how bad does your taste hafta be that looks appealing?!

-28-

Listen to My Summer Lair @ W • T • F

Also published on Medium.