Is this good?
Will this be good?
Every movie trailer answers or challenges those 2 questions. The ham-fisted rebuttal comes swiftly, however: no you don’t need to always see a movie to know it’s tank.

Do you really need to sit through a Michael Bay Transformers movie to know for sure? Tank is Tank. And Fresh…well Fresh is always Fresh. I’m down like I’m Brown for that.

For the week of February 10-16, 2019 I cover:
The Hustle
Run The Race
Tolkien
Yesterday
After
The Hummingbird Project

Shall we begin?

The Hustle (February 12)
It appears The Hustle was unable to hustle up a halfway decent writer…I wouldn’t even watch this on an airplane. Awful and unnecessary. Is Anne Hathaway the new Jennifer Aniston? Discuss.

Sammy Verdict: #OccupyHollywood and #CrapCarnival so I’m out.

Run The Race (February 12)
I dunno if Run The Race is based on a “true story.” Doesn’t matter…it’s less Remember the Titans and more Friday Night Lights so I’m out. If you love God, America and football…this is your jam!

Sammy Verdict: They didn’t make this for me.

Tolkien (February 12)
Stephen King will eventually get this type of treatment. Nicholas Hoult plays a young J.R.R. Tolkien and this is his origin story! It’ll be in theaters May 10, 2019.

Sammy Verdict: Eh? I’ll Netflix this.

Yesterday (February 12)
Man white people have an endless fascination with the Beatles. Here’s the latest love letter Yesterday…blah, blah. Every generation gets to decide which bands are great; you don’t get to inherit your status…it’s gotta be earned.

Sammy Verdict: I will not be watching Yesterday today or tomorrow or any day really.

After (February 14)
Remember Fear with Marky Mark and Reese Witherspoon? After is basically a Fear remake: Fatal Attraction for teens. If you’re in the mood for rabbit stew it comes out April 12.

Sammy Verdict: Hard pass.

The Hummingbird Project (February 14)
We paid for the The Hummingbird Project via Telefilm Canada so thankfully it looks decent. It’s like The Social Network but with…stocks: apparently for Jesse Eisenberg a billion dollars is still cool.

Sammy Verdict: I’ll Netflix this.

-28-

Listen to My Summer Lair @ W • T • F

Also published on Medium.