Is this good?
Will this be good?
Every movie trailer answers or challenges those 2 questions. The ham-fisted rebuttal comes swiftly, however: no you don’t need to always see a movie to know it’s tank.

Do you really need to sit through a Michael Bay Transformers movie to know for sure? Tank is Tank. And Fresh…well Fresh is always Fresh. I’m down like I’m Brown for that.

For the week of March 24-30, 2019 I cover:
Dora and the Lost City of Gold
Kevin Hart: Irresponsible
Unicorn Store
Pennyworth: Season 1
Godzilla: King Of The Monsters

Shall we begin?

Dora and the Lost City of Gold (March 25)
What The Cheeze: I know this Dora movie is like for kids or something? But it sucks. Skip it. Show your kid Indiana Jones…James Bond…Doctor Who. Make your kids fresh. This movie will not make you kids fresh…it’s just status quo.

Sammy Verdict: #OccupyHollywood and #CrapCarnival so I’m out.

Kevin Hart: Irresponsible (March 27)
Kevin Hart’s latest Netflix special is Irresponsible. I’ll watch on April 2nd…not a big Hart fan but he’s good for a laugh or two. Oh and so read the comments…gold, yo!

Sammy Verdict: I like jokes!

Unicorn Store (March 27)
I ain’t got “room” for Brie Larson’s cheezefest: Unicorn Store. This’ll do well with the Twitter-crowd tweeting Captain Marvel box office $$ and photos of little girls seeing the movie. For the rest of us there’s not much here on April 5.

Sammy Verdict: Hard Pass. Try harder stupid.

Pennyworth: Season 1 (March 29)
Pennyworth actually looks decent: for such a half-baked concept. I’m begging like a Dickens orphan: no wink-wink Batman “easter eggs” cheeze: just tell a damn good story with tons of British-Bond ruckus. 10 episodes June 2019 on EPIX.

Sammy Verdict: Eh…maybe on a lazy Saturday afternoon I’ll check out an episode or two.

Godzilla: King Of The Monsters (March 29)
Any hope Kong: Skull Island, Godzilla, Pacific Rim and The Mist are a shared universe? That’d be some excellent Movie Monster Fight Club. For now we got this Godzilla movie. It’s a start!! More ruckus please.

Sammy Verdict: I can support and fund Movie Monster Fight Club.

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Listen to My Summer Lair @ W • T • F

Also published on Medium.