Trial by Trailer: Including…Birds Of Prey

Is this good?
Will this be good?
Every movie trailer answers or challenges those 2 questions. The ham-fisted rebuttal comes swiftly however: no you don’t need to always see a movie to know it’s tank.

Do you really need to sit through a Michael Bay Transformers movie to know for sure? Tank is Tank. And Fresh…well Fresh is always Fresh. I’m down like I’m Brown for that.

For the week of September 30-October 5 2019 I cover:
Birds Of Prey
6 Underground
Wounds
The Gentlemen
The King’s Man
The War of The Worlds
The Personal History of David Copperfield
Richard Jewell

Shall we begin?

Birds Of Prey (October 1, 2019)
Sigh: Birds Of Prey!

Yeah, I still dunno: the trailer teases cheeze more than interest. Solid violence…decent ruckus (thank you for the hard R! as in Right On! And especially if the R is for Rude!) but…Margot Robbie. I don’t trust her.

Can she pull this off…especially as a producer?

One of the interesting aspects to the tepid Birds Of Prey trailer response is how good that movie must be to overcome and wash out the awful taste of the Suicide Squad. I sat through the awful Suicide Squad I dunno if I wanna go back to that: Aquaman made $1 Bill without my donation…couldn’t even do that one.

If Birds lays an egg that’s gonna make an even bigger uphill battle for James Gunn’s Suicide Squad 2. That’s the movie we want but hafta sit through Birds of Prey first.

February 7, 2020…we’ll see. We’ll all see.

Sammy Verdict: Right now: cheap Tuesday; not opening $$.

6 Underground (October 1, 2019)
Sweet Josh Groban!!

6 Underground is part of a complete Ruckus meal with witness the fitness chicks, a sports car chase, guns, death-defying leaps…waterfall crashing penthouses and it’s right before Christmas on Netflix…yo!!

And YES! (So this Christmas Break I get this AND the fourth (and sadly final) season of Man In High Castle. Oh I will not be leaving my house at all.)

Sammy Verdict: I am 100% IN! Team Ruckus! December 13 on Netflix!

Wounds (October 2, 2019)
Wounds has the chick getting spanked in 50 Shades movies and Armie Hammer doing his Chris Evans Cellular bit…eh: this movie is a hard “cell.”

It’s a so-so horror movie. I’m more inclined to check out Countdown than Wounds. Are you in for Countdown? I’m so in!! Countdown is like a classic slightly cheezy old school movie…I’m up for one of those.

Sammy Verdict: Yeah that Wounds is on Netflix (October 18) makes it easier…still I’ll probably watch it when it starts to snow…a lazy Sunday afternoon when I don’t wanna go outside.

The Gentlemen (October 2, 2019)
The Gentlemen has guys in tracksuits; another guy saying “clean house.” Now THAT is what I pay Guy Ritchie for (well & Sherlock Holmes movies! I entirely skipped Aladdin…eh save that for the middle!).

Not a Matthew McConaughey fan but I’ll tolerate him if the gangsters are ruthless and handle their business. Which is appears they will and they do!

Sammy Verdict: I’m up for watching Gentlemen not be gentle men…

The King’s Man (October 2, 2019)
Keeping with the British theme The King’s Man is a prequel. Valentines Day, 2020: not a fan of “how did you meet stories…I’d rather a story that extends the franchise.

While I’ve been enjoying this series: solid Ruckus (that black cab scene…yo!!!) I dunno if we need to start at the beginning to go full “Golden Circle.

Sammy Verdict: Eh…kinda In. Still I’ve come this far.

The War of The Worlds (October 2, 2019)
Alright let’s talk: BBC has a new The War of The Worlds. (We’ve got 2 adaptions coming…this is the BBC version that’ll premiere on October 13, 2019 on TVNZ 1 in New Zealand. There’s a Fox version with Gabriel Byrne and that’s going to air in Belgium on October 29.)

(Spielberg’s-Cruise War adaptation is terrible…Spielberg is just not good at science-fiction i.e. E.T.)

Still do we “need” yet another version? The book is spectacular: H.G. Wells is a GOAT.

Sammy Verdict: It is the BBC so I’m kinda in…A Good Man Goes To War!

The Personal History of David Copperfield (October 2, 2019)
The Personal History of David Copperfield and no it’s not about the blouse wearing magician from the 80s. That I’d happily see!

Most disappointing movie title since “Naked” Lunch. This is like based on the novel or something?

Sammy Verdict: Hard Pass. I’ll never ever see this. Ever.

Richard Jewell (October 5, 2019)
It’s All Here! The corrosive ineptitude of “journalists;” the proliferation of demonetization as a societal value: this was the beginning of end. Social media was coming to exacerbate all of this: like picking up smoking after having a heart attack.

Richard Jewell is us at our worst…which is now all too common. (With Richard Jewell Sam Rockwell impressively continues to document the current dark American experience from like Three Billboards to Moon (Oh Lord…Moon is incredible…wonderfully unsettling!) even to The Way Way Back. Rockwell lives up to his name: Somebody’s Watching Me.)

December 13…Clint, yo!

Sammy Verdict: Not opening weekend and depending on the tone but I will watch this.

-28-

Listen to My Summer Lair @ W • T • F


Also published on Medium.

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