Trial by Trailer: Including…Ask Dr. Ruth

Is this good?
Will this be good?
Every movie trailer answers or challenges those 2 questions. The ham-fisted rebuttal comes swiftly, however: no you don’t need to always see a movie to know it’s tank.

Do you really need to sit through a Michael Bay Transformers movie to know for sure? Tank is Tank. And Fresh…well Fresh is always Fresh. I’m down like I’m Brown for that.

For the week of January 13-19, 2019 I cover:
Ask Dr. Ruth
Slut in a Good Way
Spider-Man: Far From Home
Fyre Fraud
China Salesman
John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum
Breslin and Hamill: Deadline Artists 
Five Feet Apart

Shall we begin?

Ask Dr. Ruth (January 14)
Here’s the trailer for Ask Dr. Ruth the pervy version of Mr. Rogers when we growing up in the 80s. Really Dr. Ruth would teach you how to make kids…Mr. Rogers would tell you how to raise em…it’s all bookended in pop culture!

Sammy Verdict: I’m In!

Slut in a Good Way (January 14)
Slut in a Good Way will be released March 22, 2019. S’like an Oceans 8 of Kevin Smith-Clerks…they’ll most likely market it as “a coming of age story” since people readily buy into that crap.

Sammy Verdict: Eh…I may Netflix this.

Untogether (January 14)
I guess Untogether is considered a romantic comedy? It’s about people who had awkward sex and are now feeling awkward about everything else…but they scored so…it is still a rom-com?

Isn’t that the rom-com point? Hijinks ensue February 8.

Sammy Verdict: I probably won’t get together with Untogether.

Spider-Man: Far From Home (January 15)
Spider-Man: Far From Home has waaaay to much face. I’m not interested in Tom Holland’s face or his emotions: it’s called Spider-Man: Far From Home not Peter Parker: Far From Home.

Still looks better than Brie’s Captain Marvel. Also: Nicky Fury got snapped by Thanos…but Avengers: Endgame comes out before Spider-Man…in April. Spider-Man got snapped too but you know Marvel is not gonna kill him off for long.

The order goes: Captain Marvel, Avengers: Endgame than Spider-Man…we should be “back to normal” except…no Iron Man: hmmm. (Interestingly IMDB doesn’t list Iron Man/Robert Downey Jr as part of Far From Home which follows a movie called Endgame. Even Nick Fury only needs one eye to see what’s coming…)

Sammy Verdict: I’m In.

Fyre Fraud (January 15)
The first of 2 (2!!) Fyre Festival documentaries dropping this week. This one is Hulu’s.

Fyre was this generation’s Orson Welles/The War of the Worlds panic and mass hysteria: if you think #hashtags are real life you’re not bright.

Sammy Verdict: Maybe but we all know how this ends…

China Salesman (January 16)
Mike Tyson vs Steven Seagal!! Now THAT is totally pay-per-view worthy. Look how much ruckus this is…China Salesman is a 2017 movie too…recent.

So…who is gonna win…Tyson or Seagal!?

Sammy Verdict: Pass Gas: I know this is cheeze but you never know…I may end up seeing it just for the ruckus. #TeamRuckus

John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum (January 17)
As we continue wasting time and energy debating worthless Gillette Ads John Wick Chapter 3 arrives to show all y’all that THIS is The Best a Man Can Get. Yo…even his dog gets into the ruckus…On May 17 I got 99 Problems

Sammy Verdict: #TeamRuckus reporing for duty. Bring It On; 100% In!

Breslin and Hamill: Deadline Artists (January 17)
HBO’s latest documentary Breslin and Hamill: Deadline Artists premieres Monday, January 28 at 8PM. #SetTheVCR.

It covers New York City and an old school era of journalism. I wanna see it for the old school NYC…the mourning for journalism I don’t really do.

Sammy Verdict: Not exactly Must See TV but I’ll get to this.

Five Feet Apart (January 17)
Oh no! A movie about teens who suffer from cystic fibrosis and…none of the actors have CF!! Oh no! It gets worse…none of the actors are TEENS!

Five Feet Apart deals a heavy blow to diversity…and based on this trailer…to quality. Which is the bigger issue: be good; great if you can.

Sammy Verdict: So saving this for a long flight…


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