Flying to New York City later today. And like most brown people it’s a pain to deal with ignorant TSA agents. That they’re often racist compounds general annoyance. Thus I’m going to the airport with my tried and true passive aggressive response (patent pending) when crossing the border:

Chocolate Milk.

Whatever they put in Canadian chocolate milk gives me more gas than a herd of cows. (American chocolate milk is ok…no bodily response).

And so when I get a TSA agent who is gonna be “one of those guys” I drop a few farts: pop, pop.

If it’s a particularly ornery agent I unleash em with sound like bubble wrap: pop, pop! Check and Mate.

Go ahead…ask questions…let’s even go to the stainless steel room with the drain in the middle…thanks to Canadian chocolate milk I can do this all day: pop, pop!

So it’s the agent’s move…I’ll continue dropping em like it’s hot or we can wrap this all up peacefully and quickly and I can get on my flight.

-28-

p.s. Sorry in advance to whoever is sitting in 7B…thankfully it’s not a long flight: pop, pop!

Also published on Medium.