Walked outta my front door and into…a spider web. What kind of dumb-stupid-spider builds a web by the front door? You idiot-spider I use the front door all the time! Yo butthead that’s why it’s called the front door. You did all that overnight work for nothing. I hope Bob Seger finds you and ridicules your Night Moves.

I hope your food was all cocooned on that web and now after staying up all night to work on your stupid web you have nothing to eat today. Moron! You’re so dumb I hope you get a Pitbull song stuck on loop in your stupid head. By the front door…you loser if you’re still in school you should get Saturday detention and be forced to defender your loserness in front of other losers by saying you have a girlfriend in Niagara Falls.

When somebody finally steps on you putting you out of your dumb misery it’ll be Sunny; not a drop of rain…that’s how dumb you are. Idiot-dumb-stupid-spider: by the front door!

Also published on Medium.