#1:
Last night on 6th street, around 1am there was a giant robot. Ummm, yup.

“I like to party with Bacardi,” said the robot.

“That robot is kinda hot, I’d have sex with him. It?” very drunk girl

“Dude! That’s like totally like, a robot. Robots are real??” a dude who is not Keanu.

#2:
2 girls in ill-fitting tanktops: “See I told you we don’t need no black guys.”

Girl clearly in a band: “I only have enough money for food or for drugs. So…what do I do?”

Girl in the shop I buy glass bottle Cokes: “I only have enough money for gas or food.”

Girl on her mobile: “You want me to insert that where??!” Pause as she listens. “Well I can’t do that right now I’m out in public.”

#3:
Small child to his dad: “Papa…are we in Hollywood?”

2 girls walking past me: “As a boyfriend he’s good enough so I decided to give up drugs.”

Dude on a mobile: “I just spilled Starbucks on my lap, think I burned my wang, what should I do?”

-28-

Also published on Medium.