Last night at Girth Radio a couple of lovely ladies who record a sex-in-the-city type show had asked if I knew any sexperts.

Successfully refraining from making the obvious me! joke I brought in a sexpert I’d met recently. I didn’t know her well but she seems knowledgeable.

After the she’d recorded her interview Sexpert and I were at the bar having drinks. Curious I asked how she learns her topic…does she spent a few months focusing on boobies? And to be appear urbane: or a few weeks understanding the pleasure a woman gets when you kiss the back of her knees?

She laughed and said currently she’s learning various studies and research on cunnilingus. Then asked: “Sammy when you’re eating out a girl out how comfortable and capable are you?”

Woah. I get that it’s Friday night still how do you answer that to a sexpert who is also a woman I’ve only known for 10 minutes or so. Thankfully before I could answer she asked for a pen and paper which I supplied.

She began drawing a detailed vagina and breaking down the process while I tried to keep up: “Wait show me again where do I put my tongue?” and “Ok…how many fingers would you suggest I use?”

Finally when she was done I looked down at her image with its notations and concluded: “Huh that looks like a treasure map. And that’s some treasure. You’re like Robert Louis Vagina.” I paused then wanting to compliment her for her time and insights I added: “It’s like you…finally rendered the mystery of the Bermuda Triangle…behold; here it is!”

She capped the pen and folded up her vagina drawing. Thus concluding my Friday Night Cunnilingus Lesson.

-28-

Follow Sammy Younan @ Girth Radio W • T • F

Ziggy Was Here January 8, 1947 – January 10, 2016

Also published on Medium.