Hello My Name Is Useless

So in talking to two contractors in NYC working on a brownstone I realized…how useless I am.

This isn’t a low self-esteem post; rather an accurate assessment of my skills.

I can’t design, fix, build, repair, create, saw, hammer, adjust well anything. Which is fine right now but makes me utterly useless when the Zombie Apocalypse hits. I have a deep respect for the trades as they’ll keep us going in Zombieland.

I’ll have to create an elaborate lie so the rest of the survivors don’t know how useless I am. Don’t want them to find out I’m useless and then use me as Shaggy bait for the zombies while they make their getaway.
I Love It When A Plan Comes Together…in Zombieland.


Also published on Medium.

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