From The Mailbox: Q: “Why are Canadians so sexy?

Alright so Maria from Cincy has a question and a comment: “Why are Canadians so sexy? I think it’s all that flannel.”

This is an incredibly astute observation but not entirely true.

Here now, especially for many of you Americans I’m going to pull back the curtain and let you behold the old man…we use maple syrup on our skin. It gives us a warm rustic glow and a youthful appearance (while making us taste sweet and as an added bonus a subtle aphrodisiac for tree huggers).

In addition you’ll find poutine gives us strength and strength like Tom Selleck is always sexy…science has yet to discover all the magical properties of gravy, it’s a delicious brown nerve tonic. (Indulging in gravy has been known to cause humourism…you’ll notice many Canadians are funny, though as of this printing that connection remains an urban legend).

Personally I think you’re just reacting to our form fitting snow pants. It gives us lift, weight and the curves genetics refused to pass on.


Also published on Medium.

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