Dating Is Dated

So…tonight I sat down with a large lasagne brick and watched I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye the apology documentary to the Christian bestseller I Kissed Dating Goodbye. I’ve got an upcoming My Summer Lair interview with the documentary subject and author of the vexing book: Joshua Harris.

The trailer so we all know what we’re talking about…

This documentary messed me up (red wine and sheesha are spot on…I wasn’t prepared for all this. I went into this doc with lasagne!). Because I outgrew it but I forgot how complicated it was to just talk to a girl and ask her out for tea. Remember that? I’m not interested in you; I have no desire to marry you…I’m not sexually attracted to you: I have tea with my guy friends; I’d like to have tea with you. Not TEA just tea. It’s really nice when you can just hang out with a girl and that’s it.

(Married girls were the best…we all had clear boundaries: I have no desire to touch your boobies!)

The thing too…is I’m not fully committed but I’m pretty open minded to this no hell thing…it really doesn’t make sense in terms of grace (Love Wins!). And if grace is bigger and better than what we think it is…God doesn’t care if I listen to rock n roll or rap music. (Especially if He heard the new Weeknd song Lost in the Fire…that beat is sick. I’ll chance it!)

Porn…for sure that’s devastating and has serious consequences. And I accept that there’s an emotional component to sex and dating and love…there’s a damage that can be done there because it’s damaged people trying to be loved. But I also believe everybody is different…that you can’t write one universal rule for everybody that’s where it breaks down for me.

When we’re on the 401 or any highway the speed limit sign says 90 km/h but we also know there is a slow lane and a fast lane…so some drivers are going 120km, others at 60km and some are hopelessly lost. That makes me more sense to me than ten thousand teenagers taking a purity pledge.

But ah…can you sweep the entire purity movement however well-intentioned into the B.S. pile? Because again if we go back to grace it really doesn’t make sense. It all reminds me of the fear of weed…how it was gonna destroy a generation and we’d all be dropping outta school; defeated and destitute…man adults: your fears are not functional; they’re foolish.

The only thing I am certain off is that new Weeknd song has a sick beat. Maybe that’s enough for today…


Listen to My Summer Lair @ W • T • F

Also published on Medium.

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