With alarming frequency I can’t buy anything without being asked about that store’s loyalty program/card thingie or being offered some random way to collect points to redeem for more crap. Look…I’ma say this once to every single store: I cheat on all of you. Regularly and out in the open.

I don’t commit. I don’t want to commit. I want an open relationship and even then I’m not interesting in hearing about your day so don’t ask about mine. We both want something, let’s just use each other.

I know what I’m looking for, what I want…so don’t offer to help me, I’ll find it eventually even if it looks I’m fumbling in the dark. Haven’t you ever noticed on your website in the search box I never look for you? Soon as I’m done I’m gone, don’t expect me to linger.

We didn’t make a memory we arranged a transaction, don’t get sentimental about it. I don’t think about you, I don’t miss you and I don’t reminisce about the way you smell.

So stop emailing me, it makes you look desperate. Especially because I know I’m not your only one: you take false and shallow comfort in the love of others. I’m not special and that’s ok because neither are you. And if and when I need you again and you’re not there, that’s alright…I will go to somebody else. You’re not the only game in town.

We clear?

-28-

Thanks for reading!

Also published on Medium.